"I'm not sure what to do about my father" said my friend. "He's mid 80's, his health is failing and he can't live on his own safely anymore. He's unsteady on his feet and my sisters and I are scared to death he'll fall down the steps, lay there for a few days and die. But he refuses to leave his house where he's lived for close to 40 years." "Does your father have Alzheimer's or does he have trouble thinking clearly?" I asked. "No, he's okay mentally. That's not the problem.

I am often approached by young men thinking of getting married for counsel. One of the first things I want to find out is if they and their fiancé have a biblical view of the marriage contract they are about to make. This blog does not deal with deeper biblical truths about the nature of marriage, and how it is to be lived out as husband and wife. My primary purpose is to address the implications of this spiritual contract between two people and God which many would-be-couple

It’s been almost 50 years ago that I went from being a cultural Christian to getting serious about being a true follower of Jesus. Hundreds of times since I’ve been asked not only how that happened but how did I come to the conclusion I was not a true Christian? This is going to be one of the shortest blogs I’ve ever written because the answer is so simple. Until I was 31 years old I believed the Bible and I believed in God. I just didn’t live for him. That is the difference!

Almost every divorced Christian I know cannot imagine reconciling with their former spouse. So much hurt, so many bitter words,legal bills and fights. “Clare why would I take that risk and jump back into that snake pit again?” Not only are there risks but in most cases one or both of the spouses have remarried. “So Clare even if I wanted to reconcile with my ex it’s impossible.” Surprisingly it isn’t. At least not the kind of reconciliation I’m encouraging. So what follows is

Every theologian throughout history has attempted to explain God's decision-making process in granting salvation and man's responsibility to receive it. Almost all end up in either Calvin's camp or Arminius', with plenty of nuanced explanations within each. Briefly, John Calvin believed salvation start to finish was a sovereign act of God. God chooses those he wants to save (election) makes them want to be saved (irresistible grace) and once they are saved keeps them that way

II spend a good deal of my time spiritually mentoring 20- to 30-year-old men, often single. And I'm still shocked when they freely disclose without a hint of embarrassment that they're living with their girlfriend. I'd expect this indifference to violating God's moral laws from non-Christians. But I often get the same response from men raised in Christian homes and who actually attend church with their girlfriends! They often ask me to name a verse in the Bible that clearly p

We're continuing the conversation about Jesus and religion. I said last week I don't think Jesus hated it, but to be sure he was wary of some aspects of it and we should be as well. I asked the group of Christian high school students in Panera I wrote about last week this question, "What bothers you most about religion?" Young adults will often describe a church where the congregation sang with gusto, "I surrender all…", but obviously didn't. "Take my silver and my gold, no

"Mr. De Graaf, do you think Jesus hates religion?" A decade ago I’d just spoken at a local Christian high school chapel and was now meeting after school hours at Panera with 16 kids who had questions about my talk, when this question was asked. There was a YouTube video by a young rapper Jefferson Bethke entitled "Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus", that has been viewed by over 19,000,000 people! If you have kids or grandchildren the chances are they've watched it too, and

I once heard Ken Davis, a Christian comedian tell this humorous story of a Christian who gets on an empty city bus, walks to the rear, and sits down. “Lord,” he prays, “if you want me to speak to someone about you please give me a sign. At the next stop another passenger gets on, goes all the way to the back and sits right down next to the Christian. "Do you know anything about Jesus?" the passenger asks. The Christian excuses himself for a moment and slowly bows his head onc