I was listening to a podcast by my good friend Preston Sprinkle on the topic of civility. He quoted Arthur Brookes, who said, “ Americans don’t have an anger problem. They have a contempt problem.” He went on to explain that a growing number of people in the United States don’t just disagree with others including members of their own family on political, or social issues, and then change subjects and finish an enjoyable dinner together. Too many people they disagree with hav

I get asked this question a lot: How do you start conversations with non-Christians that will hopefully lead to spiritual things? Carefully and thoughtfully is my short answer. Christians have a bad reputation of dumping the whole truckload on total strangers or new friends in "Christianese," language that we understand but means something completely different to others. Therefore, the first thing I need to say is – go slow. Get to know them first. Be transparent. Share your

When I think of Christian denominations I think of them as religious franchises. It's the nature of franchises to allow investors (Franchisees) to open a business that offers the same products, foods, or services as every other franchisee. Think McDonald's, or Pizza Hut. No matter where you go when you enter into one of their restaurants you can get the same food as every other restaurant in the world that uses that name. Quality control, a uniform look and a common experienc

Have you ever had a family member or close friend come to you repeatedly needing just one more, “temporary loan”? It seems that almost every family has a brother, daughter, cousin or someone who always seems to be "a little short." I’m not talking about a generally responsible person who’s fallen on some hard times due to a job loss, divorce, long term illness or underwater mortgage. That can happen to anyone. I’m talking about a generally irresponsible, lazy or simply foolis

The Importance Of The First Few Exploratory Meetings Set some dates for the first few meetings and make it clear that at this stage no one is agreeing to be an accountability partner yet, but you want to meet for a few weeks to get to know each other better and discuss everyone's expectations. Unless everyone knows each other well, I'd suggest everyone take 15-30 minutes to give the group a brief summary about themselves including the type of family they grew up in, education

Last week my blog encouraged you to write a Personal Mission Statement. Have you ever attended a weekend seminar that was really helpful, took tons of notes but come Monday morning life got crazy and almost all the good intentions you had are forgotten in the rush of life? Why is that? Because you're not actually accountable to anyone so the "tyranny of the urgent" often robs us of our good intentions. To whom you are accountable spiritually? Have you ever really thought abou

Decades ago I felt like my life was out of control. I was busy in ministry, we were raising six children, trying to keep our marriage fresh and I felt like I was not doing any of them well. Life was a blur. So, I signed up for a time management course. I thought that was how I would find more balance: just be more efficient. The first words out of the seminar presenter’s mouth were two questions and then a quote. “How many of you have a written Personal Mission Statement?” T

Last week I met with an older widow and her friend who asked to meet for guidance on inheritance questions. She has three children who have not treated her, or each other with love and respect. The kids in their 50’s claim to be Christians but after hearing their mother I had doubts. “Clare, I don’t trust my children to be fair with each other when I die with my personal possessions. Is there anything I can do now to lessen the potential conflict?” Yes, there is. I’ve sat wit

A man I’d never met called a few months ago and asked for an appointment about an urgent matter. So we met. “My son is dating a Catholic girl and my wife and I are sick about it! What should we do?” I’ve been asked this question dozens of times over the years, so I’ve learned to ask this question; “What kind of Catholic is she (or he)?” Invariably the reaction is always the same. “What do you mean by that? She’s Catholic. How many kinds of Catholics are there?” “There are as