You Can Buy Envy, But You Have To Earn Respect

A few weeks ago I turned 76. That means I have “mileage.” I’ve had my own successes and failures, experiences both good and bad and I’ve both sinned more than most, but hopefully I’ve made even more good and virtuous decisions. I’ve also watched the lives of hundreds, maybe thousands of people to where only someone who has lived this long can make some general observations about life.

I sold my business more than 40 years ago so obviously I’ve had to deal personally with materialism. And because I’ve mentored lots of leadership men, both Christian’s and not-yet Christians I’ve watched how they handled success and wealth. Then of course you don’t need to spend much time on FaceBook and Instagram to find people desperately trying to impress others with how successful they are and the “toys” they have acquired. It’s not for no reason this bumper sticker was popular a few decades ago, “He who dies with the most toys wins!” Even though I’ve not seen that bumper sticker recently, the spirit of it is alive and well. Look at what I have and I have done.

That’s why I say, it’s possible to spend enough money on “stuff,” to earn the envy of others, but respect must be earned quietly, slowly and with great personal integrity.

This problem of coveting was important enough for God to address it in The 10 Commandments. “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbors wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, his donkey, or anything that is your neighbors.” Exodus 20:17.

A modern day version might read, “You shall not covet your neighbors house, your neighbors car, his, or her looks, or success, or anything that they own.” And in the age of the internet and social media, our neighbor is anyone on earth who has anything we obsess over and desire for ourselves, other than their virtues and spiritually.

“For everything in this world-the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life-comes not from the Father but from the world.” I John 2:16

So, by now you may be asking yourself what does this have to do with you and me? Everything. When the Bible speaks of temptation, the root of it is almost always wanting something someone else possesses, or God prohibits. It began when the serpent told Eve, she’d be like God if she ate the fruit. She coveted that power. Then James, Jesus’ own biological brother wrote this about temptation;

“…but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desires…” James 1:14

So, what do we do about this universal sin? I know I have a problem. However, I rarely see something another person has and think to myself, I want what they have. But my problem is that I generally like nice things and if I can afford them I tend to dismiss those wants as not being coveting because they don’t belong to someone else (except the store owner.) But in my more honest reflections I know that’s simply a more subtle form of coveting- wanting something I’d do not need and imaging my friends being impressed. That’s when I know I’ve crossed the line. When I begin imaging how others will see me. I’ve asked the Holy Spirit for years to send off alarm signals to me whenever I even begin thinking that way. And he does!

Resisting that temptation not only is resisting sin, but it frees up money and time I can use to bless others. Coveting robs us of that opportunity. This is a zero sum game. Every dollar or minute I spend to make my life more enjoyable is a dollar and time I could have used to bless others. So what can be done to reign in that kind of coveting.

First Confess. Tell God and yourself you have a problem. Your coveting may not be as bad as others you know, but that’s their problem not yours. Second, take some time to identify the ways you want more than you need and why you want them. I have a friend who admitted, “If all my friends were blind, I’d probably drive a Taurus.” Third, ask for the Ho,y Spirit to set off alarms in you the moment you think about how others will admire you for what you own. Fourth, for the last month I’ve been repeating to myself every morning I John 2:16.(Above) I say it to myself out loud. There’s something about hearing, plus reading that enables ideas to stick in my mind.

Lastly, stay away from websites, stores, or catalogues that offer you stuff you do not need.

“But as for you O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness and gentleness.” I Timothy 6:11