Welcome to my blog. I spend half my life in coffee shops having honest conversations about how following Jesus works in real life. So, let’s learn together, grab a cup and – join the conversation.

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I’m a businessman, elder in one of the more conservative mega churches in Grand Rapids, Michigan and for over 25 years a full time spiritual mentor of men. I love introducing people to Jesus and truth from God’s perspective. I’m also an NPR listener and student of our culture because I want to understand how the world and a younger generation think, so I’m prepared to engage in conversations which are true to the Bible, intellectually honest and gracious.

Following Jesus is the only hope I have of living this life with purpose, energy and expectation. I hope to end my days on earth still meeting young men at Starbucks who have no interest in God, being the patriarch of my family, cheering them on to godliness, making sad people smile and the lonely – laugh, giving the poor hope, pointing wayward men back to their families, teaching the whole counsel of God and keeping myself unstained – God’s reputation and mine intact.

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Welcome to my blog.
I spend half my life in coffee shops having honest conversations about how following Jesus works in real life. So, let’s learn together, grab a cup and join the conversation.

This edition from Simon and Schuster has been totally revised with expanded teachings and a study guide. Available in stores and online now!

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  • DOOR International is dedicated to translating the Bible in every Sign Language of the world and training Deaf leaders to plant churches.
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Having thoughtful Discussions with older Children About War
Posted by Clare
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With ISIS in the headlines and reports of thousands of Iraqis fleeing for their lives, it’s an appropriate time to have a conversation with your older children about how Christians should think about war. St. Augustine and later Thomas Aquainis formulated what has been called, the Just War Theory, arguing that some wars are morally justified. In doing so they laid down the principles that ought to guide Christians before going to war.

Their task was a challenge. Critics seem to have on their side the very teachings of Jesus himself, “Love your enemies. Turn the other cheek,” and “thou shall not kill,” teachings that seem incompatible with any form of defiance or violence.

But Augustine argued that God judges the heart. The highest motivation for every act or thought must be love. Therefore, what is done from love, to bring about justice, must be good. That opened the door for Christians to perform outward acts that might appear to be forbidden by scripture.

So, what follows is a brief summary of this Just War Theory.

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13 Important Questions to Ask Before You Say “Yes” to Serving on a Ministry Board
Posted by Clare
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Let’s be honest, it’s flattering to be asked to serve on the Board of Directors of a Christian ministry, especially a large one.

I know how easy it is to be seduced into serving when men or women you respect, call on you to serve. I’ve fallen for it. To my shame, I’ve served on a few boards simply because I didn’t want to disappoint a friend who asked. Sound familiar?

And almost all board members are chosen for one or more of these reasons: Their affluence, their influence, their spiritual maturity or experience.

So, next time, before you say “yes” ask yourself and them these important questions.

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Searching for a “Safe Dad” or “Safe Mother”
Posted by Clare
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Last year, I was introduced to a great ministry for men, The New Canaan Society http://www.newcanaansociety.org (At the end of this blog is some information about our own New Canaan chapter in Grand Rapids, Michigan). While attending their retreat/conference in San Francisco, I met a young, aggressive 30 something guy, also attending the meeting, but not yet a Christian. After one meeting, he and some of his friends and I had a glass of wine overlooking the city.

“I’m curious,” I asked, “Why would you pay $1,500 to come to a three day conference filled with Christians, if you’re not yet one yourself?” His response both inspired and challenged me.

“Ever since I was in college, I’ve been looking for a safe dad.”

He went on to tell me that his own father was a jerk. His parents had divorced, but he always longed for an older man he could trust to help him navigate life. Someone had invited him to a New Canaan weekly meeting and he was shocked! There, he met dozens of mature Christian men who were successful, but also clearly loved God and their families more than they loved themselves. He’d never met men like that before! “Whatever they have, I think I want, but I’m not there yet,” he confessed. So, there he was the proverbial rich young ruler, watching and listening – kicking the tires spiritually looking for a safe dad.

Are you too, looking for a safe, spiritually mature man or women to help you navigate life?

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Most “Statements of Faith,” Make Me Nervous
Posted by Clare
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When I say Statements of Faith, I mean those lists of what various churches or ministries believe the Bible teaches about God, humans, Jesus and his gift to us of salvation and the promise of eternal life. You know – those lists of truths you’re asked to affirm in order to join a church, or work for a ministry. It’s not the truthfulness of that information that makes me nervous – it’s actually calling that list of what essentially are doctrinal truths, a “statement of faith.”

It may even be dangerous to say that our church has a “statement of faith.” Because, doctrine we believe only on an intellectual level, even if we have faith in them, is still  not faith as God sees it. It leads many to falsely assume that if they agree with those statements of truth, that they then have faith – which they very well may not have.

Faith is like Fire
Faith – true faith is a lot like fire. Let’s assume I was able to write the definitive book on fire, The Complete Book of Fire. And, let’s also assume it was a thoroughly, accurate description of the chemistry of combustion, with lists of all the elements you need to have a fire, how to start a fire, keep it going, cook on it, put it out – a complete book of fire. You would still not actually have fire. Why?

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