That's not just a clever title to catch your attention. It's a real question and the right answer could change your life.
There's something Jesus wants from you that you're holding back and you know it. Perhaps it's an addiction you've been hoping would just go away. Tomorrow. It might be a relationship even an emotional one that is inappropriate for a married person. Is there someone or something you covet and think about all the time and fantasize about getting?
It may be something as subtle as what has happened on to me a half dozen times over the decades. You and God are like an old married couple still married but not really in love. There's little joy in your quiet time with him anymore. Maybe you don't meet with him anymore, or have shortened it with all the business in your life. And you don't know how to get the magic back. God hasn't changed or moved. I know I am the problem when that happens. I don't always know why and occasionally I have to set aside a day alone with God reading the Bible, begging him to help me get back to our first love.
Absolute surrender is a myth. Nobody I've ever known is absolutely surrendered to God. We all hold back something, or it may be that something is holding us back. If you want a love relationship with God you'll have to pursue it! That tells God you really want it.
"You will seek me and findme when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13
There's no surrendering it without naming it. Can you name the sin-the gift Jesus wants that up until now you've held on to as mine? Say it out loud to Jesus and without counting the cost, give it to him and ask the Holy Spirit for the will to resist it and not take it back. If you need counseling or help, get it. Secrecy is not your friend.
Once you can name it, admit it and confess it you can get help for it, or tell a trusted friend. And don't give up until the gift you've given to Jesus is his to keep.
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