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Topic #5: Teaching Your Children to Think Biblically and Respond Wisely


One of the real dangers of being parents today, is that you never really know all the ideas your children are being exposed to. This is especially true in the area of sex – especially homosexuality! Most Children don’t just come home from school and start conversations about homosexuality around the dinner table! Perhaps they suspect you’ll get angry if they appear to agree with some things they’ve heard.

However, with the Supreme Courts ruling, it affords parents and grandparents a great opportunity to get these issues out in the open. Below, are a number of questions or ideas student are, or will be encountering in the classroom and cafeteria. You can start these conversations by asking a question. “In light of the Supreme Court ruling, perhaps we should talk about…” Or “Have you ever heard someone at school say…” and then rephrase some of the questions and ideas I’ve stated below, which I’ve actually gotten from parents. (By the way, I think age 14 on up is an appropriate age to have these conversations, unless younger children are learning about this in school, or are talking to you about these things.)

Q.  What happens when your children come home from school and they’ve heard something about homosexuality, that they know, or suspect, is not what you (their parents) agree with?

A.  Teach them to respond with kindness and with confidence like this; “Kids, the things you’ve heard about homosexual behavior are not what we believe the Bible teaches. And you’re going to hear more and more information, that make Christians sound narrow-minded, or like we hate homosexual people. We do not! And we don’t ever want to hear you saying unkind things about homosexuals, just because we disagree with them.

But remember this, Christians don’t let other people’s ideas replace what God says, just because it’s unpopular. God’s opinion is the only one that matters to us. You’re going to have people trying to tell you that you’re wrong, all your life, if you’re serious about following Jesus.   Get used to it and ready for it. That’s why we’re talking about this as a family.

Q.  What happens when your children are accused of being a gay haters, unloving or bigots because they’re Christian?

A.  Kid’s don’t let anyone define you by those labels. So here’s one way to handle those kinds of comments;

So, somebody says; “So, you go to church. You probably think homosexuality is a sin.” [You] might ask, “Well what do you think a sin is?” “Well, I think a sin is when you do something bad.” “Do you believe that there are bad things? Things people should never do?” “Well, sure – of course.” “ Okay so you believe in sin too right?” (Try to find some common ground.) OR “First of all, I don’t hate gay people. My parents don’t hate gay people. We just believe the Bible teaches that sex outside of marriage or with the same sex, is wrong. Why do you think that’s hate?” “Well, because you think, the way somebody else lives their life is wrong.” “Well, do you think my beliefs are wrong?” “Well, yes.” “So, do you hate me?” “I don’t think so.” (Taken from a radio interview on Family Life Today, with Kevin De Young)

Q.  I’ve seen Christians on T.V. with signs, “God hates homosexuals” and “gays are going to hell!” Why do Christians hate gays?

A.  It’s true. There are some Christians who do hate gays. I’m embarrassed about them. I’m sorry. The Bible teaches that the second greatest command is this, “Love others as yourself.” We aren’t to hate anyone.

But, to love someone, doesn’t mean you always have to agree with them. I’m sure you’ve told people you love your parents, but you don’t always agree with them. Right? I love both gay and straight people. But, if I saw you doing something that the Bible says is wrong, I’d tell you, just like you told me about the gay hating Christians carrying signs. You thought they were wrong and you told me. I respect you for that.

Q.  There’s all kinds of things in the Bible that Christians don’t obey anymore like eating certain kinds of foods and women keeping their heads covered in church. Isn’t homosexuality just one more ancient biblical belief that no longer makes sense?

A.  First, you’re right. There are some things in the Bible, Christians no longer observe. But God’s moral laws are different. And if something is taught both in the Old Testament and then again in the New Testament, especially moral laws, Christians don’t have the option, not to obey them. God warns us about sexual sins, both for straights and gays, in both the Old and New Testaments. God says all sex before marriage is wrong. And it may surprise you that God has far more to say about the sexual sins straight people commit, than he does about gays!

Q.  So you believe if I have sex before I’m married, that I’m a sinner?

A.  The Bible says, we’re all sinners. All of us, in different ways are tempted to violate God’s rules. It’s what the Bible calls our “sin nature.” Whenever I do what God says is wrong, I’m committing a sin. And yes, God prohibits sex before marriage.

Q.  If God wanted homosexuals to be straight, why did he make them that way, and how can it be wrong if he did?

A.  First of all, God didn’t make them that way. All humans, including straight people have been affected by sin. God didn’t make people to be alcoholics, or want people to be divorced or angry. The Bible says these things are wrong, including sex outside of marriage.

However, every person has a choice to not act on their feelings. An alcoholic can stop drinking, or married people do not have to divorce and unmarried people can choose to not have sex, whether you’re straight or gay. We can’t always choose how we feel, but we can choose how we act.

Q.  Christians just need to get a life. Gay marriage will be the law everywhere soon. Can’t you accept that?

A.  Christians live under the authority of the Bible, which means what God says is more important than what the law says. Of course, Christians will obey the law, once it is the law. But we do not have to agree with it. Legalizing something God has said is wrong, doesn’t make it right.

Q.  The fight for gay rights is like the civil rights issue. Are you really that backward?

A.  It’s unfair to compare gay rights to civil rights. Racists considered African-Americans to be inferior to white people. Christians don’t think homosexuals are inferior to straight people at all. We disagree with their behavior, but we should never think less of them as people. And Christians aren’t asking for separate bathrooms, restrooms and laws to take away the rights of gays. Gays are the ones who are asking for laws to force straight people to accept what God says is sin.

Question: Do you have some questions you’ve been asked, that you’d like some guidelines on how to answer them?

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