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Gender Fluidity
Posted by Clare
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As a parent or grandparent it would be a serious mistake to dismiss the importance of gender fluidity to your children or grandchildren!

So what is gender fluidity? It is the relatively new idea to the public, to describe the phenomena in some people whose mental sexuality is not fixed, but it can change from “feeling” male or female, from year to year, or even as reported by others, from day to day. They obviously don’t change physically from male to female, but they find themselves mentally and emotionally changing along the sexual spectrum.

Until even five or six years old, most psychologists understood this was a very small segment of the population – transgender and bi-sexual people are two examples of this. However, in the last few years, with the rise of pop culture it’s become cool to be gender fluid. Miley Cyrus, recently said, “I don’t relate to being either a boy or a girl. It has nothing to do with my body parts or who I’m attracted to. It’s literally just how I feel.” Almost every week a new celebrity is coming out as asexual, transgender, bisexual, etc., or as gender fluid.

If you’re just shaking your head in disbelief and think this is just a Hollywood phenomena, ask your high school or college children or grandchildren. I’d be shocked if they don’t know several students who say they are gender fluid.

What’s the big deal?
If you think this is just another fad in society and it too will pass, you could be right. But even in the short run, this is important for you to understand. Why? Because if your child doesn’t know for certain whether they are either male or female, why would they ever aspire to be a godly man or woman? How will you teach them to be a godly husband or wife, or godly mother or father? Gender fluidity will have huge implication to marriages and families decades from now unless you sit down with your children and talk with them.

Because if you don’t, others are.

So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27

To be clear, God is a spirit, so while we do refer to him as a male and call him Father, this passage in Genesis, isn’t talking about God’s sexual identity. It simply says that he created humans male and female and your children may need to be reminded of that. Any deviation from that may be a reality in some people, but it is not the norm.

Then talk to your children about what it means to think of themselves as a godly man or woman. Make it clear that if they truly are confused and aren’t sure they are 100% male or 100% female, that you will listen to them. They may already have bought into the lie and are having doubts about their own sexuality. Don’t deny their “reality.” Pray with them. Get them good Christ-centered counseling. Patiently teach them.

Visit They have resources to help you both understand and teach your children.

What else can I do?
Call your child’s public school. Ask if there are currently plans to teach a gender curriculum. Find out what your children will be learning. Here’s what you need to know at a minimum. Your child’s public school either already has, or will introduce a “gender curriculum.”

What follows is a summary of the approved curriculum for the State of Washington, reported by Family Policy Institute of Washington.

  • Beginning in Kindergarten, students will be taught about the many ways to express gender. Gender expression education will include information about manifestations of traits that are typically associated with one gender. Cross-dressing is one form of gender expression.
  • Third graders will be introduced to the concept of gender identity. These children will be taught that they can choose their own gender.
  • Fourth graders will be expected to “define sexual orientation,” which refers to whether a person identifies as heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual; they’ll also be taught about HIV prevention. Children in fourth grade will be told that they can choose their sexual orientation.
  • Fourth and fifth graders will learn about the relativity of gender roles and why such roles are social constructs that are not inherent to who we are as male or female human beings.
  • Seventh graders will be expected to “distinguish between biological sex, gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation.”
  • High School students will critically “evaluate how culture, media, society, and other people influence our perceptions of gender roles, sexuality, relationships, and sexual orientation.”

Good Christian parents will find out when this curriculum will be discussed and sit down with their children and present God’s perspective.

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Comments (4)
  1. john said...

    Washington state’s approved curriculum is insane. The Church is in a battle for the minds of our children and grandchildren. Another reason that parents are opting out of public education for their kids.

    • Clare said...

      John I agree. It is insane. Two of our daughters have kids in the public schools so they will have a voice at the table. They are actively fighting so no kids will be taught this dangerous nonsense.

  2. Rob said...


    I can’t thank you enough for the thoughtful and timely blogs you publish. As an educator in a public school I see the full effect of this confusing cultural movement into the lives of our young people. Many of our kids are lost, groping for identity and acceptance. Thank you for educating and coaching your readers on how we can best sort out this and other situations we face while living in this fallen world. If I lived in Grand Rapids I’d love to sit across the table from you at Starbucks, discuss the world’s woes, ponder how we can further God’ kingdom here on earth and pray for those opportunities. As it is, I’ll just be thankful for the good work you do through this blog and your books. Have a great week in the Lord!!

    • Clare said...

      Thank you. That’s very kind. We do live in confusing times.

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